Archive for June, 2005

Schlock-Fest Jakarta

Wednesday, June 29th, 2005

Every August, the 50th Ward of Chicago where I grew up had a big outdoor festival in the nearby gigantor Warren Park.  Carnivalish atmosphere.  In the evening half a mile away you could hear the barker encouraging people to make noise while they rode those untrustworthy carnival rides.  And they sold a lot of crap.  Sometimes it was called "The Taste of the 50th" (riffing off of the much larger and more food-centered "Taste of Chicago" around the 4th of July every year in Grant Park).  Later on it was called the "50-Fest." 

My father always had a more appropos name for it:  "Schlock-Fest."  Because, you know, basically everything there was kind of overpriced, and not really that great, and kind of annoying.  You know, schlocky.  Or as one Yiddish-English dictionary phrases it, "schlock" describes "Anything cheap or inferor; junk; trash." 

Maybe in Indonesia it’s hard to translate - "sampah" means "garbage" but usually just refers to what you throw away - Indonesians tend to say things are "not quite nice" instead of saying they are bad, so perhaps "schlock" would be "kurang halus" - "not well made."

But, it turns out that Indonesia has its own name for its was Schlock-Fest Jakarta:  the annual "Pekan Raya Jakarta" or colloquially "Jakarta Fair."  All over the city right now there are elaborate, lit-up signs in front of all of the buildingds that read "Dirgahayu Kota Jakarta ke-478" - basically a celebration of the founding of Jakarta’s 478th anniversary.  PRJ, Jakarta Fair, is the main event - a big outdoor fair.

Maybe the government news agency’s description takes us a little bit further, in which President SBY explains his hope that:

"…the exhibition would also help investors to indentify (sic) the products that attracted the public the most.

The government, he said, was resolved to revitalize all economic
sectors to spur growth that would eventually promote the people`s
welfare.

Economic growth would help create employment and thus reduce poverty, he noted."

Nowe we can see why SBY got that PhD in Agricultural Economics two days before he was elected.

From what I could see, the key products displayed for investors to focus on were:

1.  Motor oil, or maybe it was the girls in short dresses who appeared to be promoting it
2.  Motorcycle helmets
3.  Cheap flip-flops
4.  Dunkin Donuts
5.  Things to which you can add hot water and mix and then consume

Anna Fewell and I managed to connect up on a crowded street corner in North Jakarta and work our way to Arena PRJ where the event was being held.  After paying Rp. 15,000 for our entrance, we navigated our way through all manner of chaos.

Anna made a friend, for instance.

But I showed him an old fashion American carnival tradition - beating on anything in a costume!

Shortly after finishing our photography, a girl with a t-shirt for the candy company ran up to me and handed me a sample "This is the candy you just took picture of."  How sweet it was…

Later on, we saw some of Indonesia’s culinary output.  Although not really the type you would imagine being crucial to a country’s image.  For instance, there was the whole principle of "One Nation Under Instant Noodles."

There was also "One Nation Under Shitty Instant Coffee Because We Exported All the Good Stuff to Starbucks" but I won’t go too far into that right here.

After all this we were kind of hungry (lapar sekali!), so we walked into the food area.  In this photo, I am thinking to myself "Okay bapak-bapak (gentlemen), which of these 17 different menus that you’ve just shoved into our faces do you want us to order from?"

But we got fed.  Let’s face it:  fairground food in Indonesia kicks fairground food in America’s ass.  A fairground in the US sells elephant ears and expensive lemonade that’s such as made from Country Time powder.  You go to a posh restaurant, you get satay chicken for like $20.  Here, it’s at the fair, and so is the Avocado Juice with chocalate syrup

Okay, now I am a little bit happier.  Anna is already eating.

Oh yeah, there was some driver’s education at the Jakarta Fair, too.  Cuz, you know, that’s pretty much how traffic looks in Jakarta most of the time.

And, finally, here is a photo with some more gaudiness.  Maybe Anna can fill in the gap on who this is - I don’t know.  There was a second one with a guy in red and a scarier mask, but it didn’t come out so good.  This was near the "traditional Betawai Village" which seemed neither traditional, nor Betawai, nor photo-worthy.

We choked our way through the air pollution of the motorcycle parking area to a taxi and made our ways home, all the richer from having wandered through the schlock of Indonesian commercial output, and more headachy than before we left.  Hurrah!

More Fruit for Mom (and other casual readers)

Wednesday, June 29th, 2005

Hi Mom.  Hopefully you got your wireless  internet set up now, and didn’t instead hang yourself from a  wire due to the incredible frustration that results from anyone who tries to set up a PC network.  Good luck there.  Everyone in the comment box, tell Ma she is brave for trying to set up a PC wireless network.

I have some more fruit to write about.

So, here is before, and there is after.

1.  Jeruk Imperial

The one that looks like an orange.  It is an orange.  "Imperial Orange"  From Australia.  Small, and unusually tasty. 

If I were a wealthy man, I would have a bushel of these little things shipped to my compound everyday, and before retiring for my morning avocado bath, I would have a fresh squeezed glass of juice made from these little things, and it would make my day that much sweeter.

And like a proper imperialistic exercise, it is small, and leaves little footprint, but enriches your own personal culture with refreshing flavors.

It’s really small, and reall sweet.  Get it?

2.  Markisa

At home we call this Passion Fruit, although I find that the Latin American variety is usually purple in color apparently?

You just tear through the packaging foam-like shell to reveal the wealth of seeds inside, which are not un-pomegranate-like - a small amount of fruit around a small seed, best consumed in large bursts all at once.  Of course, I had a mouthful of the fruit-covered seeds in my mouth, trying to spit out what was left after carefully disconnecting the flesh from the pits before I found on the internet that you’re just supposed to chew the seeds.  *Crunch* *Crunch* *Crunch*.

The appearance of this is totally Star Trek fruit, you know?  A Klingon general tears into one while watching Captain Kirk throw out his back during hand-to-hand combat with something that looks like it got laid off from the Magic Kingdom.  Geordi La Forge mistakes one for a tricorder while Captain Picard performs a soliloquy and endows a human rights scholarship (way to go Captain Picard!). 

Jack, I tried to come up with a Chakotay joke just for you, but I’m afraid I didn’t watch enough Voyager in my day.

It’s the weird conrast between the yellow fruit and the somewhat slimy, alien-color purplish-gray seeds that makes it Star Trek fruit.  That’s what I mean.

It’s delicious.  I only bought two because I was skeptical, and had not figured out how to eat it, but I think I will buy more.

Fruit

Tuesday, June 28th, 2005

I promised my Mom I would take pictures of strage fruit that I devoured here in Indonesia and send them to her.  Instead, I’m going to make the pictures and whatever I have to say about the displayed fruit available to anybody who might stumble onto this page with an empty stomach.

Today’s fruit is here.  That was the before.  There is the after. 

(Don’t worry - no photos of me looking satisfied after eating.)

1.  Jeruk Mandarin Thailand
Um, that just means "Mandarin Orange from Thailand."  Nothing special about the taste, but that green skin is something else - so bright and inviting.  I was pulled in by the green - it just grabs your eye and says "pay a few thousand more rupiah per kilo for me, take me home, and eat me."  Like someone thought that maybe if they start selling green-skinned oranges, people will buy them because they are oranges that are not orange.

It seems that the Thai people know a thing or two about marketing.  Oh wait,  haven’t I heard something about that before?

But really, Mom, I just wanted to remind you that I am in fact getting enough Vitamin C.

2.  Salak
See that weird brown thing in the photo?  That’s like one of my favorite fruits ever.  It’s called salak.  I bought some in Yogyakarta the first time I travelled there in 1999, and immediately devoured the whole bunch. 

Sebuah (one piece of) Salak might fit in your palm.  It has brown skin that is almost scaly, thus the appelation of "snake fruit" it is often given.  In the after photo you can see what happens when you peel it open - there is a white fruit that surrounds a large brown seed, which is not edible.  There are usually three full pieces inside each scaly cover, though sometimes only two grow fully and crowd out the third which comes out shriveled. 

The fruit has a light, sweet flavor - nothing too overwhelming, making it a great snack.  Biting into it, it almost has the texture of fresh, ripe garlic.

My only complaint is that for a skin covering that looks so durable, it molders and begins to rot very quickly.  I remember trying to sneak a few back into Singapore with me, opening  up my bag when I got home, and finding that the tips had already rotted to a mushy brown pulp with mold over the skin.  So, don’t count on me to bring any of these home.

Welcome to the Internerd, Angela Bailey

Monday, June 27th, 2005

Angela Bailey has a great sense of humor.  When she heard that I called her the "Immelda Marcos" of our school due to her extensive (and impressive) shoe collection, she thought it was funny and didn’t set a death squad upon me the way the Marcos family used to deal with its dissidents.

Shortly before I left the US, Angela gave me this great homework assignment - there was a testimonial to Dick Cheney in a Fakester Friendster profile from a Fakester Soeharto.  I was supposed to translate it into English.  Unfortunately, I didn’t get around to doing it, and since then the Cheney Fakester has been pulled down!  Rats! 

You can read about Angela’s adventures in Mali here.

Leave Me Where the Kids Are Alright / And We Will All Go Down Together

Monday, June 27th, 2005

Say hello to your new friend Kiki – self-styled this name is, like most Indonesian names – few people go by their given name, and most invent some moniker inspired by something from somewhere (even President Susilo Bambang Yudhoyono is known by everybody as SBY – repeat after me – Es Bay Yeh).

If anyone I’ve come into contact with so far is the Ultragrrrl of Jakarta, it’s Kiki.  I’ve even started calling her Ultragggadis (‘gadis’ being the Indonesian word for a fetching young woman, though it’s literal translation is ‘virgin.’)  Unlike Ultragrrrl, Kiki has a real job – as a graphic designer.  Much like New York’s Sarah Lewitin, the former "Making Out With Ultragrrrl" columnist for Spin whom I have only seen from across a crowded nightclub so I ain’t claiming no personal knowledge here, Kiki has a sizable, not so hard to locate web presence where she keeps much of Jakarta up to date on what is happening in the indie rawk scene.

Such as it is.

Oh, wait.  It’s more than you might expect.

Certainly more than I expected to find.

After all, there’s a lot to respect from Indonesia’s cultural output - consider for instance its gamelan milieu which is sui generis as far as I can tell in the world of music and dance.  But in modern output, it’s another story.  This is the country after all that produce a war criminal named Wiranto who resigned from the military only to launch his political career with a tour supporting his new album "For You My Indonesia."  He and the aforementioned SBY both appeared last spring on "Indonesian Idol," where incumbent President Megawati’s failure to show couldn’t have helped out in the ratings, I mean polls - although I’m sure Indonesia’s Simon Cowell-alike didn’t tell SBY to keep his day job.  And while I’m getting my digs in, let me tell you that most of the singers you see from this country look like people who took themselves too seriously at karaoke - they have mullets, bad wardrobes, horrendous mustaches, and end every verse they sing with throaty declarations of "cintamuuuu" ("I love you.")  Yeah, what is Indonesian for "don’t quit your day job?"

Kiki called me up and said, “Come to Parc.”  Parc is in Indonesia’s “Blok M” area, which is mostly known as a cash and carry spot for Indonesia’s foreign residents, and Indonesia’s prostitutes.  You can also find bootleg DVDs and more taxis than the world would ever need.

In Blok M I also found my way to Parc, where Indonesia’s punk rock crowd collects – in whole or in part, I’m still figuring it out – no map was drafted in a day.

But before the rawk, we’re going to have to sit through some stuff.  It’s Thursday night and there are four bands on the ticket.  The first one is really serious reggae.  So serious in fact, that from where I am in the bar, I cannot see them – the place is that crowded.  The smoke is so heavy that I may as well be smoking.  Some of the smoke may or may not have been the kind that can cause a death sentence and a really nasty diplomatic spat.  I’m not really asking for the answer to that question.  The audience is heavily dreadlocked, and singing along, swaying to the right, to the left. 

At first, I think, “this is what Kiki has brought me out for?”  The gilded cage feel I’ve been sweating since I got to Jakarta is more pronounced.  I mean, okay, it’s not bad reggae, but I was expecting to hear someone channeling the spirit of Iggy Pop, the droning of a thousand badly tuned guitars.  Now I’m just hearing ‘jah rasta-far-i” and watching way too many people sitting around with long looks on their faces, failing to drink any beer (more on that later). 

But then the reggae band is over.  And so is about 3/4 of the crowd.  Seriously – the opening band picks up and walks out and that’s it – most of the crowd leaves with them.  Before we couldn’t move, couldn’t see.  Now we’re all standing at eye level with the next band, they’re just perched on the floor in front of us, not even on a raised platform let alone a proper stage. 

And they start to play.

And it’s good.  Real good.  I’m surprised.  They’re called Olive Tree.  Three men play bass, guitar, drums, while the oddly dressed front lady jams along on a keyboard and sings in a strange voice.  This is totally 80s-era indie electro-rock, updated to excellent effect a thousand times since, and it’s being played well, and it sounds good, and something from this set is going to get stuck in your head before it’s over.  It’s not just that it’s a relief from the rasta – it’s that these people honestly and truly know how to play their instruments, they’re playing their own songs, they’re singing in Indonesian half the time, and they’re all doing it in sync.  Really – this is a good band, solid, would be at home and welcomed back in any town that would have them.

Okay – I lied a little bit – I only caught half of this band’s set – too bad, I wish I had seen the whole thing.  We’re hanging around outside halfway through the reggae set because none of the girls want to deal with all the cigarette smoke.  Kiki has introduced me to some of her buddies milling around outside.  “Don’t worry – people won’t be surprised – we’re always hanging around with bule,” referring to me with the slightly pejorative word for foreigners used in Indonesian slang (I still preer Singapore’s “ang mo,” translating as “red-headed boy” but meaning “white guy”). 

Here’s what I discover – everyone of Kiki’s friends is in a band or wants to be.  This one plays bass.  The next one sings.  This one tries to sound like Pearl Jam.  Another one really loves Black Flag.  I ask one of them if he’s playing rawk music for a living and he says “This is just a hobby.”  And they all know each other – this is a small community of Indonesian rawkers, and they are all jamming on their occasionally mutually overlapping aficionado statuses together. 

Band number three didn’t stick in my head…the lead singer showed up with a 70s-era tie he stole from his dad and a fake afro.  The sound – think Jack Black singing “let’s get it on” at the end of High Fidelity.  This isn’t really a hobby – this one is just for fun.

But now, it is time for what everyone has been waiting for – why the Indonesian rawk scene came out tonight.  The main event is led by a band with the auspicious name of none other than “Teenage Death Star.”  Or is it “TeenageDeathStar.”  One of those.  You’re not going to find them on iTunes, but maybe you should be able to. 

The singer is wearing gigantic sunglasses, Tom Cruise-Top Gun-style, and it’s time to play really loud hardcore rawk, bust some ear drums, and break some bones.  The eardrums bust cuz it’s loud.  The bones break because a dozen members of the crowd are eagerly moshing.  Eagerly.  Like the kind that clubs decided they don’t have the insurance to cover anymore back home.  And remember I said that there’s no stage, so sometimes the singer is screaming into the microphone while he’s trying to keep his balance because someone has just elbowed hard into his side. 

The effort to to keep our rawk singer upright is led by your friendly neighborhood bouncer, a guy who works the door sometimes, who is so muscular that his cheek bones are bulging.  He looks like he was bounced out of the Tentara Nasional Indonesia (armed forces) for bad manners.  Everytime I see him give a boxing-style thrust to keep a mosher off the singer, or the drum set for that matter, he stops for a moment, and runs his hand over the back of his head – it’s that itchy feeling that anyone who has ever punched anyone else knows all about – it comes right after you make contact, and it practically begs you to connect again. 

The show ends, and it’s just the singer falling down in one of the bleacher-like seats on the side of the “stage” and the band takes their gear back down to their ride.  From channeling David Yow, seriously, to being ready for a nap. 

At one point, the singer from TeenageDeathStar was handing around a pitcher filled with beer, a dozen straws jutting up over its spout.  A band-member or a punter in the audience would grab hold, take a sip and hand it back around.  That was most of the drinking I saw that night.  I keep wondering “where the fuck are the sex, drugs, and rock n’ roll?”  After all, these are mostly Muslims, at least their identity cards say so, right? Unlike Ultragrrl Sarah Lewitin who keeps saying she’s gonna stop drinking, Ultragggadis Kiki just doesn’t drink.  I know we’ve got our whole straight-edge movement in America now, but is there counter-culture where there is no irresponsibility? 

It’s not just that – it’s that all of the audience who really stick around seem to be buddies with the owner of the joint.  So if these people are on the guest list, and if the ones who are drinking are getting comp’d by the boss, where is the intake?  Can this place make money?  I swing by on a Satruday night the second time, and the answer would seem to be "no." Kiki tells me that Parc has been open less than a year, and filled in the gap of another place that decided it didn’t want this crowd showing up for gigs at its bar any longer.  Can Parc survive?  Is the rawk crowd going to grow old, move deep south to Jakarta’s affordable suburbs, and lose their memories of the perfect bass groove to a two-hour commute?

I sure hope not.  But I’m not even sure where the inspiration comes from.  Everyone – everybody – wants to come to New York.  At least three people have asked me “Have you been to CBGB’s?”  We all know our suburban punks who sport expensive mall-bought copies of Sex Pistols t-shirts.  This crowd is not that crowd.  I joke with Kiki about a line from Liam Lynch’s “United States of Whatever,” a not so heavily rotated song in which he declares “So I went down to the beach and saw Kiki / she was all like…” and her friend says “Oh, that’s Liam Lynch, yah?”  Which is to say that these people know a lot of shit about a lot of shit, at least as much as I do, and I’ve been living in three indie rawk cities over the course of my life, and this is not one of them.

As much as I can tell, these kids, most of whom ain’t kids no more, are the slightly arty upper middle class who have always made indie rawk what it is – people with enough time on their hands to do their own thing.  And they’re doing it.

Meanwhile, for now at least, they are letting me watch, and Ima gonna see some more while I can.

Piety

Wednesday, June 22nd, 2005

"Look at that rat running into that mosque over there.  It’s so pious."

This is how my dear friend Anna Fewell said something out loud that, if heard by anyone on the darkened street in Jakarta we were walking down last night, might have given us a much fresher concept of the phrase "jihad."

Dari New York ke Jakarta

Tuesday, June 7th, 2005

Scatter around the place on Monday - clean up after last night’s party - not too hard.  Complete loan consolidation application and other financial paperwork - what a great way to spend your last day in New York!  Dinner from Zabars.  Pack up the last of it, race to the subway.  Get on board - it’s 6 PM on Memorial Day and there are seats!  At 72nd Street, even catch an express train and only two more stops to Penn Station.

Drag that suitcase and backpack and messenger sack all the way to the NJ Transit waiting area.  Sweating like you wouldn’t believe.  Oops, it’s Memorial Day and everyone, *everyone* is going back to New Jersey.  Fight my way onto a train, dragging 70 lbs of luggage along the way - a bunch of savages in this state.  The lady across from me is wearing a pink hat and green alligator boots.

Newark.  Air train, no problem.  Long line at check-in, but it moves fast.  Not business class - looks like another lie my travel agent told me.  At least I am on my way.  Malaysia Airlines, Flight 91.  The flight crew is large, the men wearing teal quasi-tuxedoes, the women wearing teal and pink floral pattern sarongs and make-up jobs that bring to mind Atlantic City in place of life at the Sultan’s kraton.  They get hassled by TSA thoroughly - Amerika Serikat bila sampai jalan!

This plane goes to Stockholm.  Stockholm!?  Yes, Stockholm.  Surrounded by Swedish metal fans recovering from long weekends in New York.  They are all hungover and sleepy, but the wine is still flowing freely aboard the plane.  I conk out, working on my plan to avert jet lag.  Which probably didn’t really work much.

We land in Stockholm.  Might as well be Stockton for all that I can see from Arlanda International - why is it when you wait for them to clean the plane in an international airport they make you clear a security line again, even though you’re moving all of 300 feet from disembarkation to re-embarkation on the same plane?  Do they think someone is going to make hand off a box-cutter to me in that short walk?  The inside of the airport looks like architecture by Ikea, and the airport staff ride around on little green scooters.

Back aboard - same flight, same plane.  My Swedish metal compatriots gone, but my hopes for a solitary column of seats are dashed when a couple that sleeps for eight hours is moved from disparate locations on the plane to togetherness next to me.  ‘Meet the Fokkers,’ which is several thousand times less funnier than the hype, and that movie with the racing zebra are two of my film options.  They feed us like six times.  We fly via Ukraine, into Russia, over the Caspian Sea, with a little bit of sunlight still over Kazakhstan, which looks pitted from the sky, and Azerbaijan.  When you fly over Afghanistan in the middle of the night, there are NO LIGHTS.  Nothing.  We jostle our way over India, down through the Bay of Bengal, and into Kuala Lumpur.

KL International - now it is the future!  Every name brand in the world you can imagine has their own little shop in this terminal, and I have an annoying three hour layover.  I nap on some benches as the airport comes to life, the girls announcing the flights in Bahasa Melayu over the intercom system every 30 seconds preceded by an announcement tone are just enough to make you wish you hadn’t packed your ear plugs away in your suitcase.

It’s just under two hours to Jakarta from KL.  Business traveller has stolen my window, but I get the aisle and a chance to stretch my legs so I ain’t gonna hurt nobody - tidak apa-apa.  On this leg of the trip, they are finally serving Malay food.  When I ask for the Nasi Lemak aboard Flight 711, my teal tux’d attendant asks if I really like spicy food - Iya Pak - saya suka sekali makanan pedas.  This question will be asked of me thirty times in the next five days, and I will give the same answer every time.

We land in Jakarta.  It’s noon.  Remember when it was cold in Stockholm?  Yeah, it’s real hot here.  Porter grabs my bag before I can say no - welcome to Jakarta, there goes your first $2.  Gouged by the taxi driver, and I am showering in my hotel room and throwing on a clean shirt to get a move on to the office.  Cuz, you know, if I stop, I sleep for 12 hours straight, and waking up at midnight and being unable to sleep all night long ain’t really the way I wanna spend my first day in Jakarta.

Welcome aboard to Di Antara.  I’m back in operation.

Last Night in Manhattan

Tuesday, June 7th, 2005

Take one loaned out penthouse on Manhattan’s Upper West Side (thanks Aunt Laurie and Uncle Bailey!), some carefully mixed caipirinhas (thanks, Oonagh Sands!), a bottle of Irish Whiskey (thanks, again, Nappy Sands!) and 20 friends and friends of friends, and what do you get?    One great going away party.  Thanks to everyone who made it - here is the album.  To the rest, see you in August/September!